i'm no illusion, are you looking for me?

The more and more I think about it, the more and more I feel as though I am turning invisible. I reckon this is due to the fact that I can’t think about anything in my life that is fulfilling anymore. The more people think I am weird, the more put down I get, yet I still want them to think I am weirder then they imagine. I like to think that I am in a way even more twisted, even more invincible in thought, even more untouchable in out thinking some of the more surreal things in life then they will ever be. Then they will ever think I am. I like it. It gives me a sense of unbelievable power, a silent power, which won’t be taken away because the existence of it is unknown to the rest of the world.

I also have these moments where I get lost. Not lost in my mind but lost in the world around me, what I think begins to make more sense then what actually is. My waking dreams seem to be as brilliantly vivid and real as any normal day to any normal person. The normality of the routines we go through everyday seem distant and everyday seem to be fading away from my personal norm. I keep thinking one day I'll wake up and forget about this nightmare, and start to live in my perfect universe where all things I find perfectly normal are considered perfectly normal and all things fantastic are considered every day's challenge.