Holidays are forces to be reckoned with. Firstly, there's the packing. second comes the money and third is the bloody wait in the departure lounge at fucking 6.30 in the morning.
the worst this about the holidays is that you cant take everything you want with you. in fact, right now you cant even take liquids onto the plane, which, any British citizen who drinks 8 glasses of water a day would tell you, is a abysmal! why cant they just do the easiest thing and just ask everyone whether or not they're freaking terrorists. it would be one- cheaper, two- more efficient and three- it will help out the daft police men they have working for the Scotland yard nowadays!
Flight attendant: "are you a terrorist?"
Terrorist: "what..um...me? how can you...? what?! no!"
Flight attendant: "that's your man guys, get him!" seems to me like the bombers have to have bloody flashing t-shirts with the words "I'm a bomber" written on them for the feds to ever get it right.
i would think it would be very obvious who a terrorist was and who wasn't. they're always either too dressed up or too dressed down, have a dodgy beard and normally go by the name Mustafa or Mohammad!
As you have probably guess i am going on holiday and i know you all are pleading for me to stay in England i assure you the feeling is mutual. Firstly i would like to say that real Madrid football club is not really where i want to spend my time but with they excess of 5 male persons coming on this trip with me those hope are looking doubtful. to make matters worse- as if i have to even say it because, lets face it matters get worse anyways- my dearest grandmother is going. i say it like a bad thing, which in a way it isn't, but then again i don't really want to be cooped up in a taxi the whole way around. Call me old fashioned but i feel the only way you can really see a city is by using the public transport and WALKING for once. I have noticed that when i am on a trip abroad, people from different countries who speak English and no other language communicate by just speaking louder and slower English. what the bloody fuck?! Mate if the Spanish man doesn't understand what BA-NA-NA means I'm pretty sure showing him the shape of it will not help. especially while your saying it with such passion.
speaking of passion , why did do people take locks of hair as a gesture of love? i mean what is the point in it? it doesn't talk, it doesn't really listen (as much as you'd like to think it does) in fact, all it does is just sit there and do completely nothing. then again that does mean it doesn't nag or tell you to clean your room or eat your damn peas. in fact, i think the chap who came up with it really knew what he was on about. he must of had one hell of a cock blocking wife...i bet he was Asian.
Saturday, 19 July 2008
Friday, 11 July 2008
the jucie of greatness: the "greatness juice".
Okay, here it is, the sentimental post, the post which makes people think and cry about how they're lives are exactly like mine when in fact they couldn't be more different, the one where everything becomes clear for everyone else but me.
Picture this. Just this. No scenarios where you put yourself into my shoes, my life, where you slowly and painfully analyse every single fault and crack and crease. Just picture this. I say this, what i mean is nothingness. The joy, sorrow and emptiness of nothingness.
Forget you have that everlasting bond with your father, that beautiful relationship with your mother and picture me and my "this". Me and my was. Me and my_______. Me and my what? My blank? My false hope? Me and my ability to forgive my mother and father for not showing their ever blossoming faces favourably to me? ME and MY delusional, self pitying, deceitful, lonely self!
Not caring is used as such a depressing cliche nowadays that it makes one thing about what people say when nobody actually cares for them at all. Do they say no one cares or do they use a phrase we cant think of until they say it and we do the universal "oh yeah, that's what it is!" speech. I for one don't let myself fall into that trap. Not because i don't care, cause i do, just not enough to stop using the phrase nobody cares. This may sound like gibberish, which it is, but its mine so it must make sense, besides something only has to make sense when there is someone to make sense of it. But since nobody cares, it shall remain as it is. Wow, I'm really pulling out some "Grey's Anatomy" shit right here.
But onto the whole point of not caring. Has anyone out there ever found that there isn't really much point in communicating with your parents after they've told you they want you to be a doctor or a lawyer and you turn around and tell them you want to be a writer and they stop paying any sort of attention to you? I know its a common teenager conflict thing, but this fire inside me raging against them is starting to scare me a little bit now. I mean, do we even need to have a million and one doctors and lawyers in the world. I'm pretty sure there are other jobs out there. jobs for you and me to get stuck into without having to spend an extra 4 years in university! I'd like to see those doctors and lawyers pay off the loans they desperately clasped tightly to their teet! SEE! born writer!
Or maybe its just me, maybe I'm just not cut out for being here maybe I'm destined for such greatness that i have to wait for a couple of generations for the "greatness juice" to kick in. Maybe im just a born tramp, which doesn't really bother me, frighteningly, i mean I'm sure there are more then a couple of people i can leech off.
Picture this. Just this. No scenarios where you put yourself into my shoes, my life, where you slowly and painfully analyse every single fault and crack and crease. Just picture this. I say this, what i mean is nothingness. The joy, sorrow and emptiness of nothingness.
Forget you have that everlasting bond with your father, that beautiful relationship with your mother and picture me and my "this". Me and my was. Me and my_______. Me and my what? My blank? My false hope? Me and my ability to forgive my mother and father for not showing their ever blossoming faces favourably to me? ME and MY delusional, self pitying, deceitful, lonely self!
Not caring is used as such a depressing cliche nowadays that it makes one thing about what people say when nobody actually cares for them at all. Do they say no one cares or do they use a phrase we cant think of until they say it and we do the universal "oh yeah, that's what it is!" speech. I for one don't let myself fall into that trap. Not because i don't care, cause i do, just not enough to stop using the phrase nobody cares. This may sound like gibberish, which it is, but its mine so it must make sense, besides something only has to make sense when there is someone to make sense of it. But since nobody cares, it shall remain as it is. Wow, I'm really pulling out some "Grey's Anatomy" shit right here.
But onto the whole point of not caring. Has anyone out there ever found that there isn't really much point in communicating with your parents after they've told you they want you to be a doctor or a lawyer and you turn around and tell them you want to be a writer and they stop paying any sort of attention to you? I know its a common teenager conflict thing, but this fire inside me raging against them is starting to scare me a little bit now. I mean, do we even need to have a million and one doctors and lawyers in the world. I'm pretty sure there are other jobs out there. jobs for you and me to get stuck into without having to spend an extra 4 years in university! I'd like to see those doctors and lawyers pay off the loans they desperately clasped tightly to their teet! SEE! born writer!
Or maybe its just me, maybe I'm just not cut out for being here maybe I'm destined for such greatness that i have to wait for a couple of generations for the "greatness juice" to kick in. Maybe im just a born tramp, which doesn't really bother me, frighteningly, i mean I'm sure there are more then a couple of people i can leech off.
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