Good morning, children.
Today is the day of rebirth, tranquillity and...revision?
Well, to be honest, today isn't a day of anything really, accept staying at home learning (all over again) about halogens. A piece of advice to you young budding scientists out there: Chemistry at GCSE level is a lie! And they only reveal that to you when you're in A levels, so DON'T take it, what ever you do.
I could really do with a holiday. Anywhere that isn't in England would do me fine. Oh and Whales- no offence to you welsh but its a bit damp over there isn't it? and the sheep remind me of pure evil- who knows what they're thinking as they stare at you with the cold, hazel, beady eyes. One bite and you've got some sort of disease or worms for the rest of your life. You'd be lucky to have your arm/leg/whatever its bitten off to be amputated!
Not that i hate sheep- don't get me wrong i love a bit of a lamb dona or some nice chops once in a while! i just don't like they way they look as if they know nothing but you know that they know that they can fuck you from behind when you're not looking! its the whole aspect of the film "Black Sheep" that got me going on this "sheep are evil" conquest.
Cows aren't bad though, they're alright cows. Kind of humble in a way. Pigs are evil. You can tell how evil a pig is just by his squeal; if its too stretchy then you've got yourself a warlord on your hands. God knows what its summoning when it squeals so loud! Chickens are like evil soldiers, but its okay because they are easy to kill and taste good, and you do need special powers to kill a duck, even though you shouldn't because they're superheros! Have you not heard of Howard the Duck, or the Mighty Ducks?
Sunday, 27 April 2008
Monday, 21 April 2008
Happy Monday, Guys!
Well its just turned Monday and I thought I'd be the first to wish you all a very happy beginning of the week! Just so you guys don't get your hopes up in the morning, I can reveal to you all that here it will not be a sunny morning with beautiful butterflies fluttering around with blue skies and happy, chirpy birds. Instead it will be dull, monotonous, and down right depressing.
But to put a higher tone on things, you should be happy by the fact that I am taking time out to write to you and make you feel as though you actually do have a friend that cares about telling you how the day will be when you wake up in the morning.
To change the subject, i would like to say that my last post made out the impression that I was shunning the media for exploiting the lives and "goings on" of celebrities. I do not condone this at all (relief hit you yet?) as I am all for people such as heather mills and such getting there heads filled with the trip the media is throwing at them.
A good friend visited me today. We spoke of the past and the present and how her boyfriend has the jaw of James nesbit (which, as you can probably imaging was my own opinion). They are a funny couple, not funny looking...yet, but just funny. Shes outrageous and she makes him out to be the complete opposite to herself. I find opposites very strange, even though the whole opposites attract saying has been put out there, which i by the way find utterly stupid- we are not poles of magnets. Its a stupid thing to say- unless you're at a physics lesson, then of course its the perfect thing to say.
I never really understood physics. I mean I could do it, but I didn't really understand the whole point of working out how far a car would roll down a hill if it were raining or had been raining and the ground was made out of A. tarmac or B. cement. I also loved the way the physics teachers wouldn't let you near the "radioactive" pieces of metals they kept in lead boxes in case the radioactivity made us superhuman right there on the spot, when the radioactivity measure could hardly even pick up the signal of the "dangerous" demonstration. It was a joke.
Come to think of it, most of high school was a joke, compared to the hell we enter afterwards. The lessons were pointless, especially the citizen ship ones! "If you see a gun, what should you do?" Bloody run away would be my first guess, or hide and not breath in case it gave you away, but no. The correct answer is of course: Report it, immediately. Report it, immediately? Immediately?! You'd be bloody dead before you reach the door to go off to report it! Give us a chance for it to sink in for fucks sake!
But to put a higher tone on things, you should be happy by the fact that I am taking time out to write to you and make you feel as though you actually do have a friend that cares about telling you how the day will be when you wake up in the morning.
To change the subject, i would like to say that my last post made out the impression that I was shunning the media for exploiting the lives and "goings on" of celebrities. I do not condone this at all (relief hit you yet?) as I am all for people such as heather mills and such getting there heads filled with the trip the media is throwing at them.
A good friend visited me today. We spoke of the past and the present and how her boyfriend has the jaw of James nesbit (which, as you can probably imaging was my own opinion). They are a funny couple, not funny looking...yet, but just funny. Shes outrageous and she makes him out to be the complete opposite to herself. I find opposites very strange, even though the whole opposites attract saying has been put out there, which i by the way find utterly stupid- we are not poles of magnets. Its a stupid thing to say- unless you're at a physics lesson, then of course its the perfect thing to say.
I never really understood physics. I mean I could do it, but I didn't really understand the whole point of working out how far a car would roll down a hill if it were raining or had been raining and the ground was made out of A. tarmac or B. cement. I also loved the way the physics teachers wouldn't let you near the "radioactive" pieces of metals they kept in lead boxes in case the radioactivity made us superhuman right there on the spot, when the radioactivity measure could hardly even pick up the signal of the "dangerous" demonstration. It was a joke.
Come to think of it, most of high school was a joke, compared to the hell we enter afterwards. The lessons were pointless, especially the citizen ship ones! "If you see a gun, what should you do?" Bloody run away would be my first guess, or hide and not breath in case it gave you away, but no. The correct answer is of course: Report it, immediately. Report it, immediately? Immediately?! You'd be bloody dead before you reach the door to go off to report it! Give us a chance for it to sink in for fucks sake!
Sunday, 20 April 2008
Well we all know where the media can shove their opinions
I hate the way the media make the celebrities of our generation seem as though what they do would not be what people who are not famous do. When, in actual fact, it is quite the opposite. In fact some of us take what celebrities do as wisdom of the gods and start to copy them no matter how outrageous or surreal that thing is. Making the media, again, feast on the fact that our roll models are nothing but happy-go-lucky charmers who found a way to cheat the system. The media exploit and disembowel the famous idiots, when in fact they should be taking a leaf out of those rich fool's books. At least then they wouldn't be glued to the asses of those who are more well off then the rest of us that way.
But really, I mean truly, I feel sorry for the media- especially these low budget journalists you see lurking behind every hotel dumpster- as they think that their so called "job" will get them noticed, by standing up to higher class and telling them what they think will make them seem "bad ass". I got news for you guys- that's some sad shit your going through. Whatever happened to giving the entertainers the use of the phrase "any publicity is good publicity", frankly, I think its people like the open journalists who are looking for the big break with a big break up of some well known Charlatan who give the media the bad names people like me dub them with.
In case you're wondering, which I am sure you are, I am still fixated with Seth Rogen and his whole act. Okay, okay, so shoot me, i think the guys excellent in every way. Is there anything wrong with that?
But really, I mean truly, I feel sorry for the media- especially these low budget journalists you see lurking behind every hotel dumpster- as they think that their so called "job" will get them noticed, by standing up to higher class and telling them what they think will make them seem "bad ass". I got news for you guys- that's some sad shit your going through. Whatever happened to giving the entertainers the use of the phrase "any publicity is good publicity", frankly, I think its people like the open journalists who are looking for the big break with a big break up of some well known Charlatan who give the media the bad names people like me dub them with.
In case you're wondering, which I am sure you are, I am still fixated with Seth Rogen and his whole act. Okay, okay, so shoot me, i think the guys excellent in every way. Is there anything wrong with that?
Tuesday, 15 April 2008
Having his babies can't be all that bad...
Two words. One man. Seth Rogen.
He's got style, hes got class, hes got a girlfriend that will kick my ass. [Yes I am reciting a Bowling for Soup song] And I know what you're thinking, Seth Rogen, hardly the Keanu Reeves/Johnny Depp I'm making him out to be. But I confess I do find him hilarious, and like any other woman would tell you, funny can be the best way to win a heart. And I'm sure he has won many of those. The age thing doesn't bother me much either. Whats a couple of years here and there? It could give us more to talk about!
You are now probably thinking "Shut the hell up, you deluded bastard!" but please let a girl dream a dream not many of the other girls dream. At least until reality is ready to lay its wet blanket over me...again.
He's got style, hes got class, hes got a girlfriend that will kick my ass. [Yes I am reciting a Bowling for Soup song] And I know what you're thinking, Seth Rogen, hardly the Keanu Reeves/Johnny Depp I'm making him out to be. But I confess I do find him hilarious, and like any other woman would tell you, funny can be the best way to win a heart. And I'm sure he has won many of those. The age thing doesn't bother me much either. Whats a couple of years here and there? It could give us more to talk about!
You are now probably thinking "Shut the hell up, you deluded bastard!" but please let a girl dream a dream not many of the other girls dream. At least until reality is ready to lay its wet blanket over me...again.
shall i use my powers of invisability for good or for evil...?
Not every enjoys being left out or even pushed away from social events/gatherings. Being pushed away from reality, however, is a different league of its own...
Why do some people never stop to consider the fact that their actions are not only idiotic but also selfish? Yes, a question that has been causing psychologist much grief for many years, but also a question that is in the very lives of the general public. The questions that make everyday people sit and think for about 10 seconds everyday about everyday things. Days like this seem to make me counter act these questions with more questions. And maybe even some more questions...?
Questions. Its a funny word. When you say it over and over again it just sounds strange, but then again so does every other word you say over and over. Much like the lives we see today- the same things repeated over and over, with the only difference being that in some cases these things happen to different people each time. Only in some cases. In other rare cases, people manage to escape. I'm not talking about the stupid kind of "escape" people are calling "self harm" these days and I'm not talking about death either. I'm talking about good old fashioned escape. Where you go away, travel, spend time with people worth spending time with, instead of trying to escape sitting in the tub with a razor in your hand which you extracted, rather clumsily, from an old discarded shaver. Because lets face it, you are more then likely not to be a surgeon who will fix the rips and damages in your life with a few incisions.
Some people believe that when someone doesn't understand what the person is trying to tell them, yelling at them 700 decibels louder will somehow help. Well of course it would help, if they were deaf! Think about it, when was the last time a yokel understood rocket science by bellowing their lungs out at them?!
This may sound like a rant, but the last time I let out some steam face to face with someone i ended up butt naked in the middle of Mexico with nothing but a credit card to my name and ran across town gaining belongings as i went along, returning home just in time for getting to the church to marry my beautiful bride. All without breaking a sweat may I add.
Why do some people never stop to consider the fact that their actions are not only idiotic but also selfish? Yes, a question that has been causing psychologist much grief for many years, but also a question that is in the very lives of the general public. The questions that make everyday people sit and think for about 10 seconds everyday about everyday things. Days like this seem to make me counter act these questions with more questions. And maybe even some more questions...?
Questions. Its a funny word. When you say it over and over again it just sounds strange, but then again so does every other word you say over and over. Much like the lives we see today- the same things repeated over and over, with the only difference being that in some cases these things happen to different people each time. Only in some cases. In other rare cases, people manage to escape. I'm not talking about the stupid kind of "escape" people are calling "self harm" these days and I'm not talking about death either. I'm talking about good old fashioned escape. Where you go away, travel, spend time with people worth spending time with, instead of trying to escape sitting in the tub with a razor in your hand which you extracted, rather clumsily, from an old discarded shaver. Because lets face it, you are more then likely not to be a surgeon who will fix the rips and damages in your life with a few incisions.
Some people believe that when someone doesn't understand what the person is trying to tell them, yelling at them 700 decibels louder will somehow help. Well of course it would help, if they were deaf! Think about it, when was the last time a yokel understood rocket science by bellowing their lungs out at them?!
This may sound like a rant, but the last time I let out some steam face to face with someone i ended up butt naked in the middle of Mexico with nothing but a credit card to my name and ran across town gaining belongings as i went along, returning home just in time for getting to the church to marry my beautiful bride. All without breaking a sweat may I add.
Tuesday, 8 April 2008
Star-struck
Phone rings on the table cluttered with bits and bobs as she runs towards it to pick it up.
Bhavna: Hello...?
Karina: Hey Bhavna...
Bhavna: Hi, who is this?
Karina: Its Karina, did you not recognise the number?
Bhavna: Shit no, whats up?
Karina: You'll never guess what, I had the best day ever yesterday! I was walking down Watford...
Bhavna: ...As you do
Karina (faint uneasy laugh): Yeah. And I was scouted by someone and he asked if i wanted to be a model and he took head shots and stuff!...
Bhavna (doubtful tone):He didn't get you to take your clothes off did he?
Karina: ...No
Bhavna: He didn't try and do anything to you with his dick, did he?
Karina: Bhavna...no!
Bhavna: and your sure?
Karina: yes!
Bhavna: Wow...well that's amazing! and a first- you'd think someone from Watford would get his cock out at any chance he'd get.
Karina: Is this you being happy for me?
Bhavna: why? whats happened? Why should i be happy? The fact that he didn't get his cock out, right?
Karina: Will you forget his cock for two seconds please! I'm going to be a model!
Bhavna: No you are not!
Karina(stressed, given up tone): You weren't listening, were you?
Bhavna: I most certainly was! You said you got some head shots, he may have got head shots for every other girl he saw coming out of Anne summers! and for whom? for you? No! For his own pleasure! He's probably whacking off right now, as we speak! Did u even see a business card? Did he even give you a contact card?
Karina: Yes, he did. I have it right here.
Bhavna: My point is still valid! You shouldn't be so certain of the truth unless its hit you right in the face. Between the eyes!
Karina: All right, I'm almost certainly going to be considered for a modeling career! happy?
Bhavna: Greatly. Is that it?
Karina: What do you mean "is that it"?
Bhavna: Well is there anything else you'd like to share? Surely that wasn't all that happened to you to make you say it was the "best day ever", your way too hard to please.
Karina: Nope.
Bhavna: what do you mean nope?
Karina: Nope. That isn't all that happened to me.
Bhavna: Well pray tell, what else happened to the infamous Karina? You been scouted for a movie too? Maybe someone overheard you singing in HMV and are now ready to give you a little record deal? well?
Karina: Bhavna, Jimmy Carr called- he wants his attitude back.
Bhavna: Oh all of a sudden your the comedian? Anyways, go on...
Karina: Ready?
Bhavna: steady...go!
Karina: some guy my sister knows bumped into us-
Bhavna: Oh my God he didn't get his cock out did he?!
Karina: Shut up! Let me finish! Don't say a word!
Bhavna: Sorry.
Karina: my sister knows him because he invites her to all these parties that celebrities throw because shes like an it girl. She asked if i could come and he was like "sure how old is she?" and she said "shes twenty years old". And guess whose party it is! Guess guess!
SILENCE
Karina: Bhavna...? You still there?
Bhavna: ...yes...
Karina: Are you not going to guess which celebrities party I'm going to?
Bhavna: Oh, so i can speak now?
Karina: Oh for fucks sake! Paris Hilton! I'm going to Paris Hilton's party! How amazing is that!
Bhavna: Shit! that is pretty amazing! Think of the people who are going to be there! Paris, Nichole, Good Charlotte, Lindsey Lohan! oh my God your going to be famous and I'm going to be your friend! You have to get me autographs! from everyone you think I'll like! Oh my God what if Seth Rogan will be there!?!
Karina: Seth who?
Bhavna: You know, Seth Rogan! The writer slash actor! My hero Seth Rogan...?
Karina: Whose that?
Bhavna: The guy from "Knocked Up", the one with curly hair!
Karina: I don't know who that is.
Bhavna: Fair enough- if you don't know him he might not be invited!
BOTH LAUGH
Karina: But think about how wild her parties are, Bhavna! The People and the dresses and the drinks! People get pissed and take their clothes off and get naked!
Bhavna (monotonous tone): Don't take your clothes off, Karina.
Karina: No, I won't.
Bhavna: Thanks.
Bhavna: Hello...?
Karina: Hey Bhavna...
Bhavna: Hi, who is this?
Karina: Its Karina, did you not recognise the number?
Bhavna: Shit no, whats up?
Karina: You'll never guess what, I had the best day ever yesterday! I was walking down Watford...
Bhavna: ...As you do
Karina (faint uneasy laugh): Yeah. And I was scouted by someone and he asked if i wanted to be a model and he took head shots and stuff!...
Bhavna (doubtful tone):He didn't get you to take your clothes off did he?
Karina: ...No
Bhavna: He didn't try and do anything to you with his dick, did he?
Karina: Bhavna...no!
Bhavna: and your sure?
Karina: yes!
Bhavna: Wow...well that's amazing! and a first- you'd think someone from Watford would get his cock out at any chance he'd get.
Karina: Is this you being happy for me?
Bhavna: why? whats happened? Why should i be happy? The fact that he didn't get his cock out, right?
Karina: Will you forget his cock for two seconds please! I'm going to be a model!
Bhavna: No you are not!
Karina(stressed, given up tone): You weren't listening, were you?
Bhavna: I most certainly was! You said you got some head shots, he may have got head shots for every other girl he saw coming out of Anne summers! and for whom? for you? No! For his own pleasure! He's probably whacking off right now, as we speak! Did u even see a business card? Did he even give you a contact card?
Karina: Yes, he did. I have it right here.
Bhavna: My point is still valid! You shouldn't be so certain of the truth unless its hit you right in the face. Between the eyes!
Karina: All right, I'm almost certainly going to be considered for a modeling career! happy?
Bhavna: Greatly. Is that it?
Karina: What do you mean "is that it"?
Bhavna: Well is there anything else you'd like to share? Surely that wasn't all that happened to you to make you say it was the "best day ever", your way too hard to please.
Karina: Nope.
Bhavna: what do you mean nope?
Karina: Nope. That isn't all that happened to me.
Bhavna: Well pray tell, what else happened to the infamous Karina? You been scouted for a movie too? Maybe someone overheard you singing in HMV and are now ready to give you a little record deal? well?
Karina: Bhavna, Jimmy Carr called- he wants his attitude back.
Bhavna: Oh all of a sudden your the comedian? Anyways, go on...
Karina: Ready?
Bhavna: steady...go!
Karina: some guy my sister knows bumped into us-
Bhavna: Oh my God he didn't get his cock out did he?!
Karina: Shut up! Let me finish! Don't say a word!
Bhavna: Sorry.
Karina: my sister knows him because he invites her to all these parties that celebrities throw because shes like an it girl. She asked if i could come and he was like "sure how old is she?" and she said "shes twenty years old". And guess whose party it is! Guess guess!
SILENCE
Karina: Bhavna...? You still there?
Bhavna: ...yes...
Karina: Are you not going to guess which celebrities party I'm going to?
Bhavna: Oh, so i can speak now?
Karina: Oh for fucks sake! Paris Hilton! I'm going to Paris Hilton's party! How amazing is that!
Bhavna: Shit! that is pretty amazing! Think of the people who are going to be there! Paris, Nichole, Good Charlotte, Lindsey Lohan! oh my God your going to be famous and I'm going to be your friend! You have to get me autographs! from everyone you think I'll like! Oh my God what if Seth Rogan will be there!?!
Karina: Seth who?
Bhavna: You know, Seth Rogan! The writer slash actor! My hero Seth Rogan...?
Karina: Whose that?
Bhavna: The guy from "Knocked Up", the one with curly hair!
Karina: I don't know who that is.
Bhavna: Fair enough- if you don't know him he might not be invited!
BOTH LAUGH
Karina: But think about how wild her parties are, Bhavna! The People and the dresses and the drinks! People get pissed and take their clothes off and get naked!
Bhavna (monotonous tone): Don't take your clothes off, Karina.
Karina: No, I won't.
Bhavna: Thanks.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
