play that funky music asian boy!

Holidays are forces to be reckoned with. Firstly, there's the packing. second comes the money and third is the bloody wait in the departure lounge at fucking 6.30 in the morning.

the worst this about the holidays is that you cant take everything you want with you. in fact, right now you cant even take liquids onto the plane, which, any British citizen who drinks 8 glasses of water a day would tell you, is a abysmal! why cant they just do the easiest thing and just ask everyone whether or not they're freaking terrorists. it would be one- cheaper, two- more efficient and three- it will help out the daft police men they have working for the Scotland yard nowadays!
Flight attendant: "are you a terrorist?"
Terrorist: "what..um...me? how can you...? what?! no!"
Flight attendant: "that's your man guys, get him!" seems to me like the bombers have to have bloody flashing t-shirts with the words "I'm a bomber" written on them for the feds to ever get it right.

i would think it would be very obvious who a terrorist was and who wasn't. they're always either too dressed up or too dressed down, have a dodgy beard and normally go by the name Mustafa or Mohammad!

As you have probably guess i am going on holiday and i know you all are pleading for me to stay in England i assure you the feeling is mutual. Firstly i would like to say that real Madrid football club is not really where i want to spend my time but with they excess of 5 male persons coming on this trip with me those hope are looking doubtful. to make matters worse- as if i have to even say it because, lets face it matters get worse anyways- my dearest grandmother is going. i say it like a bad thing, which in a way it isn't, but then again i don't really want to be cooped up in a taxi the whole way around. Call me old fashioned but i feel the only way you can really see a city is by using the public transport and WALKING for once. I have noticed that when i am on a trip abroad, people from different countries who speak English and no other language communicate by just speaking louder and slower English. what the bloody fuck?! Mate if the Spanish man doesn't understand what BA-NA-NA means I'm pretty sure showing him the shape of it will not help. especially while your saying it with such passion.

speaking of passion , why did do people take locks of hair as a gesture of love? i mean what is the point in it? it doesn't talk, it doesn't really listen (as much as you'd like to think it does) in fact, all it does is just sit there and do completely nothing. then again that does mean it doesn't nag or tell you to clean your room or eat your damn peas. in fact, i think the chap who came up with it really knew what he was on about. he must of had one hell of a cock blocking wife...i bet he was Asian.