Enter My World Of Thoughts

2010-04-05T01:16:00.002+01:00

i havnt written anything because i am happy. For once iam happy with the direction life is taking me in.

obvious there have been places in which i have felt like ripping out my hair was the way forward, but this was soon forgotten. i like the melody life is showing me right now, i am content with life...fate and all... :)

Fate.

2009-10-04T23:08:00.003+01:00

i reckon people have invented fate to stop us from becoming ignorant, lazy and incompetent. i think its something that our parents created to frighten us into thinking what we were actually doing was not our mother or father's choice, but the universe's choice. It's very own path for you, which has been pre-written and called fate. i also reckon that the fact that people are being made to make life changing decisions at the tender age of 10 is preposterous!

i sit here and write to my audience of probably about 3 people, and I'm really pouring my heart out here, trying to get my points cross thinking, until now, i have relied on "fate" to get me to where i need to be. it sounds awfully complicated, and also long winded, but rest assured i do make perfect sense, even if i do say so myself. how many of us have been filled to the brim about fate, and how it isn't coincidence? i think I've had enough.

i hate looking at my little brother while hes being punished or spoken to in a tone which indicates hes a pure idiot.i hate it because it scares me how he turns everything around to make it into an argument about me staring at him. i also feel sorry for him, he has to decide whether or not hes eligible for university already. hes 10. 10?! what happened to the days when all you were required to do at the age of 10 was to roll around in mud picking up snails and slugs and throwing them at girls? what happened to the days when all we ever wanted to do was eat crisps and collect the pogs we got from inside the packets?

No! No, cabro, no!

2009-05-27T23:52:00.004+01:00

i reckon i could be the worlds best something. granted i don't know what that something is...yet. but rest assured that i will be the worlds best something at something and until i accomplish that i do believe i have the rest of my life to spend with my CABRO Lianna and leech of my father for any spare change going around...

there are several things i kid myself about doing this summer which include learning to drive, Spanish, more writing- much more writing! and perhaps even fit in some exercise where possible. rest assured this summer will be the turning point. the new me which i have renewed over and over (I'm quite frankly feeling like Argos merchandise here- back and forth...)
I've even made a list. which I've already misplaced. but don't worry, besides some minor hitches and such the plan is to make myself more understanding and understand the natural ways and order of life and to learn to drive so i can zoom away from the things that are best left misunderstood- my absolute cryptic code of a mother.

you'd think that summer approaching i wouldnt have anything negatively affecting me but there is one thing that has been bugging me a lot these days, however, and that is public displays of affection. it isn't really appreciated, this isn't Paris you know, its not the city of love, its London, the city of accountants and bankers who want to get on with their lives without the thought of their empty pathetic lives at the sight of you both sucking each others faces off! is appalling, we aren't french! (no harm to the french intended of course, they should take it as a compliment, it isn't everyday they get attacked for their promiscuous behaviours. Or is it...?)

i can see the future, but i dont think its quite that orangey...

2009-05-26T14:29:00.004+01:00

Sometimes i have a million and one thoughts rushing in and out of my head at the same time, sometimes i regard this as simple ecstasy.

i had to fight the temptation of having a gherkin this morning. 9:00am is too early for the ugly little treat. i don't get gherkins. they are so repulsive to look at yet they taste so....gherkiney.

enough. i am in a bad mood. it hurts to think what I'm going to get in my AS levels, having failed BADLY last year. i know i wont fail, i cant possibly get 2 U's again, but i know i haven't gotten AAAA either. i predict at least BBCD hopefully BBCC or BBBC. i cant do anything now but wait and pray. and try not to jynx anything
I've started to learn Spanish, myself. should be good. hopefully it will earn me credit on my UCAS- oh shit...

in a lighter tone, i have started a new blog, along side this one so i wont be giving up on this master piece! its going to be a little different, not like everything else i work on, its going to be more poetic? in a way? but i wont be boring you with pointless poetry, its going to be more like...romance.

have you heard Mercury Summer lately? by Fight Star? rather good- very summery, i can really imagine driving to Tesco listening to it. its old but good, if you get me.

i'm no illusion, are you looking for me?

2009-02-23T15:42:00.003Z

The more and more I think about it, the more and more I feel as though I am turning invisible. I reckon this is due to the fact that I can’t think about anything in my life that is fulfilling anymore. The more people think I am weird, the more put down I get, yet I still want them to think I am weirder then they imagine. I like to think that I am in a way even more twisted, even more invincible in thought, even more untouchable in out thinking some of the more surreal things in life then they will ever be. Then they will ever think I am. I like it. It gives me a sense of unbelievable power, a silent power, which won’t be taken away because the existence of it is unknown to the rest of the world.

I also have these moments where I get lost. Not lost in my mind but lost in the world around me, what I think begins to make more sense then what actually is. My waking dreams seem to be as brilliantly vivid and real as any normal day to any normal person. The normality of the routines we go through everyday seem distant and everyday seem to be fading away from my personal norm. I keep thinking one day I'll wake up and forget about this nightmare, and start to live in my perfect universe where all things I find perfectly normal are considered perfectly normal and all things fantastic are considered every day's challenge.

reasons for future living arrangements. episode #1

2009-01-11T01:51:00.003Z

higher status: have you done any work today?

me: yeah course, I'm just warming up some milk

higher status: but have you done any work?

me: it has sugar in it, you want some?

higher status: you're not listening to me. do you listen to me?

me: yes yes, I'm using your mug- is that okay?

higher status [walking out of door expression of dismissal on face]: fine fine

me: hold on, where are you going?

higher status: I'm holding some poo, I'm going to go let go.

me: ...no milk then?

only human after all

2009-01-09T00:51:00.003Z

you know, you think you know a person, you think you know their every move, their every thought is run through your mind first before it even reaches theirs. of course that's a load of bullshit really, as you never know a person, so you should never trust them. unless you hold their bank account details. then of course you know all that you really need to know about a person and so you can go on living your life thinking everything is peachy! well done, human, well done.

Who says I'm the one with the attitude problem?

2009-01-04T23:48:00.005Z

Lonely?
Me?
Surely not? Not on this glorious Sunday night 10 minutes before midnight. 10 minutes before the start of the day of another term in a god forsaken college with god forsaken children, dragging their knuckles on the ground entering the god forsaken motionless revolving doors of a god forsaken, forgotten corner of the universe. Not that I want to fit in. less concerned in fitting into the world. This world that it.
I can't describe how much pity there is for you in me. No reason for it. Just a lot of it. Hmm...Could this possibly be what arrogance feels like? Perhaps its ignorance? Well whatever it is I’m feeling it towards everyone because they can’t be more like me. I wonder what would happen to the relationships I hold dear (those very few relationships) if I were to become a beatnik?
Let’s face it; everyone has those weird funny moments where the music, the uniform, the lingo, the drinks, the attitude of your average un-materialistic beatnik becomes very...stimulating? Attractive? The sanest thing you could possible encounter in a 12 mile radius?
Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to build up any of my fears of the world become less and less minimal in you. Of course not. That would be preaching my ideas, that would be me making you look at the world, the very meaningless existence you hold so very dear to your heart, and ripping it out, shredding it with my Phillips razor sharp shredder, and using it as the lining for the kitty litter box. Not that I have a cat, or a kitty litter box for that matter.
So no I am not lonely at the moment. It is you people, you people in your over crowded, over priced, over rated relationships that have ruined the phrase me, myself and I by involving you her him and us.

and by the way...happy new year.

Lessons 3 and 4

2008-09-11T12:28:00.002+01:00

Sitting in a place where you know there isn't anything there for you, where there are many places you would like to be or where you would want to or need to be, makes the rest of the day pretty boring. Take today for instance. Right now i am sitting in a room, a common room, which is the size of a bedroom, i am in a free period and can't wait for my lesson to start, not because i a m bored but because there is nothing more i would like to do right now then to just go home as soon as possible and dive into my bed and fall asleep before actually writing or attempting to write about two conversations which, to me, have no meaning or even purpose.
now I'm going to go and have a disregarding, meaningless lunch with...myself. well i always have preferred my own company to those of idiots (the rest of the world).

Sims in real life...

2008-09-01T18:12:00.003+01:00

My dearest associates it is I. the one and only. The chosen one to tell you that your lives are pointless and empty and that in a couple years you will die and end up the way you started. fucked. Excuse the lingo, but it is true. i mean, lets face facts here, all we are is a game. our lives i mean. our lives are just a huge game of something like The Sims and we cant get out until someone up there gives us too little or too much to eat. and lets face it, its going to happen. one of these days your going to find a wad load of cash or a wheelbarrow full of something sweet and you re going to give yourself a heart attack! but for those of you reading this- don't worry you are completely safe. reading this blog is like a heads up into the world. its like one of the cheats on Grand theft auto- you know the one, where you can get the giant tank!- and so if you are reading this then know that your life will only turn out like the Truman show. so um...watch out for hidden cameras, ey? and don't go too wild on the round-abouts. and love your wife- shes getting paid full time for the show without a Christmas bonus!

how dare "they"!

2008-09-01T17:39:00.003+01:00

So we've all heard of pier pressure. right? they talk about it all the time in those stupid assemblies and those idiotic talks they bring in specialists for. But they don't really tell you of pier pressures brother parent pressure do they? and why would they? they only inflict it themselves so why bad mouth it. i may be talking a load of bull but when do we get to decide how to run our lives? when do we make the decisions? when we're parents? how long will that take? years? decades even?! I know i may be sounding like the complete stereotypical twat they make teenagers out to be, but they are the only reason we've been given the name! because of them we have to suffer! because of them we have to obey rules we don't believe in! because of them we inflict thoughts on killing them and they blame the media for the violence that has been super imposed onto our minds! i know not many people read this (hi Lianna) and i know that its stupid of me to say what everyone is thinking, but its time to rebel people! now lets take out the flame torches, the pitch forks, the obnoxious banners and make ourselves into some of the best god damn demonstrators the world has ever seen!

My Minor Ambitions

2008-08-25T15:05:00.003+01:00

Sometimes when I don't want to do something I end up not doing it. Not because I don't want to do it, but more because subconsciously i know that if i do it i wont do it properly. I know that it may not make any sense to you right now, but when you realise you're not doing something you don't want to do, you'll understand.

When i do end up doing something i don't want to do, though, i always find some way of cocking things up a little. Or a lot. In fact, i cock most things i don't want to do entirely. But it doesn't sadden me. It actually makes me realise i never really wanted to do it in the first place which eventually makes me do the thing I've always wanted to do, in the end. So it always works out! not always for the better and not always for the worst. it just works out.

Sometimes, i think the cast of Grey's Anatomy could use a person like me. Someone who talks total crap but it isn't crap that nobody understands, it's crap that actually makes sense. And that show needs some of the good crap before their audience begin admitting themselves to a mental institute.

distractions of pain and misery. ahh the emo inside me!

2008-08-03T21:02:00.002+01:00

Oh why do things always happen to me?!

wait. perhaps i should rephrase that...

Oh why do only bad things happen to me!?

that's better.

I'm alone. not in the sense that there aren't people around. in the sense that i cant look up and think, wow i feel good. which in truth has nothing to do with loneliness.
I'm alone. alone in a world full to the brim of people i can be with. i just don't want to see them anymore. actually. i want to see them. all the time. i just don't want them to see me. i don't want them to see me because i know that i wont be able to look up at them and smile a smile so genuine, so articulate, and so perfect that it would make them believe that i am not alone.

i have nobody. i can't cry in a crowd room. because i know it will make the crowd suffer. i don't want suffering. at least not because of me. i can't cry on my own. because i know the whimpering sounds i make will travel through the soft fragile walls, not of my heart but of my house, and fill it with such hurt. i can't look up and cry. because i know that one soul i once knew will be up there and will be looking down. and will be saddened to know that i am alone. and i don;t want that. why am i alone? i have a mother and a father. i have brothers and a grandmother. then why do i feel so alone? is it because i need help from that one person. that one person every single person has, but me?

people say that God builds everyone in twos. every single person in the world has a partner. That there is a perfect some one for that perfect somebody. someone made just for you. someone you were put on this earth for. someone who as put on this earth for you. He just leaves it up to us to find our other half. maybe that's why they call it other half. because each half has half a heart and the other completes it. that's the true meaning of a heartbeat. it takes two to tango after all.
maybe that's what it means not to be alone. when you know your heart is in you chest but beats in someone Else's.

play that funky music asian boy!

2008-07-19T23:36:00.004+01:00

Holidays are forces to be reckoned with. Firstly, there's the packing. second comes the money and third is the bloody wait in the departure lounge at fucking 6.30 in the morning.

the worst this about the holidays is that you cant take everything you want with you. in fact, right now you cant even take liquids onto the plane, which, any British citizen who drinks 8 glasses of water a day would tell you, is a abysmal! why cant they just do the easiest thing and just ask everyone whether or not they're freaking terrorists. it would be one- cheaper, two- more efficient and three- it will help out the daft police men they have working for the Scotland yard nowadays!
Flight attendant: "are you a terrorist?"
Terrorist: "what..um...me? how can you...? what?! no!"
Flight attendant: "that's your man guys, get him!" seems to me like the bombers have to have bloody flashing t-shirts with the words "I'm a bomber" written on them for the feds to ever get it right.

i would think it would be very obvious who a terrorist was and who wasn't. they're always either too dressed up or too dressed down, have a dodgy beard and normally go by the name Mustafa or Mohammad!

As you have probably guess i am going on holiday and i know you all are pleading for me to stay in England i assure you the feeling is mutual. Firstly i would like to say that real Madrid football club is not really where i want to spend my time but with they excess of 5 male persons coming on this trip with me those hope are looking doubtful. to make matters worse- as if i have to even say it because, lets face it matters get worse anyways- my dearest grandmother is going. i say it like a bad thing, which in a way it isn't, but then again i don't really want to be cooped up in a taxi the whole way around. Call me old fashioned but i feel the only way you can really see a city is by using the public transport and WALKING for once. I have noticed that when i am on a trip abroad, people from different countries who speak English and no other language communicate by just speaking louder and slower English. what the bloody fuck?! Mate if the Spanish man doesn't understand what BA-NA-NA means I'm pretty sure showing him the shape of it will not help. especially while your saying it with such passion.

speaking of passion , why did do people take locks of hair as a gesture of love? i mean what is the point in it? it doesn't talk, it doesn't really listen (as much as you'd like to think it does) in fact, all it does is just sit there and do completely nothing. then again that does mean it doesn't nag or tell you to clean your room or eat your damn peas. in fact, i think the chap who came up with it really knew what he was on about. he must of had one hell of a cock blocking wife...i bet he was Asian.

the jucie of greatness: the "greatness juice".

2008-07-11T23:46:00.004+01:00

Okay, here it is, the sentimental post, the post which makes people think and cry about how they're lives are exactly like mine when in fact they couldn't be more different, the one where everything becomes clear for everyone else but me.

Picture this. Just this. No scenarios where you put yourself into my shoes, my life, where you slowly and painfully analyse every single fault and crack and crease. Just picture this. I say this, what i mean is nothingness. The joy, sorrow and emptiness of nothingness.

Forget you have that everlasting bond with your father, that beautiful relationship with your mother and picture me and my "this". Me and my was. Me and my_______. Me and my what? My blank? My false hope? Me and my ability to forgive my mother and father for not showing their ever blossoming faces favourably to me? ME and MY delusional, self pitying, deceitful, lonely self!

Not caring is used as such a depressing cliche nowadays that it makes one thing about what people say when nobody actually cares for them at all. Do they say no one cares or do they use a phrase we cant think of until they say it and we do the universal "oh yeah, that's what it is!" speech. I for one don't let myself fall into that trap. Not because i don't care, cause i do, just not enough to stop using the phrase nobody cares. This may sound like gibberish, which it is, but its mine so it must make sense, besides something only has to make sense when there is someone to make sense of it. But since nobody cares, it shall remain as it is. Wow, I'm really pulling out some "Grey's Anatomy" shit right here.

But onto the whole point of not caring. Has anyone out there ever found that there isn't really much point in communicating with your parents after they've told you they want you to be a doctor or a lawyer and you turn around and tell them you want to be a writer and they stop paying any sort of attention to you? I know its a common teenager conflict thing, but this fire inside me raging against them is starting to scare me a little bit now. I mean, do we even need to have a million and one doctors and lawyers in the world. I'm pretty sure there are other jobs out there. jobs for you and me to get stuck into without having to spend an extra 4 years in university! I'd like to see those doctors and lawyers pay off the loans they desperately clasped tightly to their teet! SEE! born writer!

Or maybe its just me, maybe I'm just not cut out for being here maybe I'm destined for such greatness that i have to wait for a couple of generations for the "greatness juice" to kick in. Maybe im just a born tramp, which doesn't really bother me, frighteningly, i mean I'm sure there are more then a couple of people i can leech off.

look who it isnt to start with...

2008-06-27T16:35:00.002+01:00

well well well, if it isn't the end of yet another glorious month. A month, may i add, which has been utterly useless consisting of me trying out different ways to bunk my chemistry lessons. Yes i said BUNK! and I'm sorry, but it cant be helped! Have you ever been trapped in a cage and thrown into a pit full of tigers and the only way to get out is to fall into the hole in the ground leading to large shark infested waters, swimming past their gigantic teeth and having to sacrifice an arm and a leg to get to freedom (quite literally)? well times that by 10 and you get a full 50 minutes of a chemistry lesson. cynical isn't it. now imagine going through it for a whole year!

2008-05-23T16:46:00.001+01:00

okay okay so i neglected the blog for a couple days. I'm sorry. what with writ ting my screen play and being dead busy revising for AS exams i haven't had a chance to tell my adoring, non-existent fans that the world will indeed end but a day sooner and we will all be eaten by zombies for some of our non-existent brains. but hey, that's the bible for ya!

Superheros and Villans

2008-04-27T13:07:00.007+01:00

Good morning, children.

Today is the day of rebirth, tranquillity and...revision?

Well, to be honest, today isn't a day of anything really, accept staying at home learning (all over again) about halogens. A piece of advice to you young budding scientists out there: Chemistry at GCSE level is a lie! And they only reveal that to you when you're in A levels, so DON'T take it, what ever you do.

I could really do with a holiday. Anywhere that isn't in England would do me fine. Oh and Whales- no offence to you welsh but its a bit damp over there isn't it? and the sheep remind me of pure evil- who knows what they're thinking as they stare at you with the cold, hazel, beady eyes. One bite and you've got some sort of disease or worms for the rest of your life. You'd be lucky to have your arm/leg/whatever its bitten off to be amputated!

Not that i hate sheep- don't get me wrong i love a bit of a lamb dona or some nice chops once in a while! i just don't like they way they look as if they know nothing but you know that they know that they can fuck you from behind when you're not looking! its the whole aspect of the film "Black Sheep" that got me going on this "sheep are evil" conquest.

Cows aren't bad though, they're alright cows. Kind of humble in a way. Pigs are evil. You can tell how evil a pig is just by his squeal; if its too stretchy then you've got yourself a warlord on your hands. God knows what its summoning when it squeals so loud! Chickens are like evil soldiers, but its okay because they are easy to kill and taste good, and you do need special powers to kill a duck, even though you shouldn't because they're superheros! Have you not heard of Howard the Duck, or the Mighty Ducks?

Happy Monday, Guys!

2008-04-21T00:08:00.002+01:00

Well its just turned Monday and I thought I'd be the first to wish you all a very happy beginning of the week! Just so you guys don't get your hopes up in the morning, I can reveal to you all that here it will not be a sunny morning with beautiful butterflies fluttering around with blue skies and happy, chirpy birds. Instead it will be dull, monotonous, and down right depressing.

But to put a higher tone on things, you should be happy by the fact that I am taking time out to write to you and make you feel as though you actually do have a friend that cares about telling you how the day will be when you wake up in the morning.

To change the subject, i would like to say that my last post made out the impression that I was shunning the media for exploiting the lives and "goings on" of celebrities. I do not condone this at all (relief hit you yet?) as I am all for people such as heather mills and such getting there heads filled with the trip the media is throwing at them.

A good friend visited me today. We spoke of the past and the present and how her boyfriend has the jaw of James nesbit (which, as you can probably imaging was my own opinion). They are a funny couple, not funny looking...yet, but just funny. Shes outrageous and she makes him out to be the complete opposite to herself. I find opposites very strange, even though the whole opposites attract saying has been put out there, which i by the way find utterly stupid- we are not poles of magnets. Its a stupid thing to say- unless you're at a physics lesson, then of course its the perfect thing to say.

I never really understood physics. I mean I could do it, but I didn't really understand the whole point of working out how far a car would roll down a hill if it were raining or had been raining and the ground was made out of A. tarmac or B. cement. I also loved the way the physics teachers wouldn't let you near the "radioactive" pieces of metals they kept in lead boxes in case the radioactivity made us superhuman right there on the spot, when the radioactivity measure could hardly even pick up the signal of the "dangerous" demonstration. It was a joke.

Come to think of it, most of high school was a joke, compared to the hell we enter afterwards. The lessons were pointless, especially the citizen ship ones! "If you see a gun, what should you do?" Bloody run away would be my first guess, or hide and not breath in case it gave you away, but no. The correct answer is of course: Report it, immediately. Report it, immediately? Immediately?! You'd be bloody dead before you reach the door to go off to report it! Give us a chance for it to sink in for fucks sake!

Well we all know where the media can shove their opinions

2008-04-20T00:44:00.005+01:00

I hate the way the media make the celebrities of our generation seem as though what they do would not be what people who are not famous do. When, in actual fact, it is quite the opposite. In fact some of us take what celebrities do as wisdom of the gods and start to copy them no matter how outrageous or surreal that thing is. Making the media, again, feast on the fact that our roll models are nothing but happy-go-lucky charmers who found a way to cheat the system. The media exploit and disembowel the famous idiots, when in fact they should be taking a leaf out of those rich fool's books. At least then they wouldn't be glued to the asses of those who are more well off then the rest of us that way.

But really, I mean truly, I feel sorry for the media- especially these low budget journalists you see lurking behind every hotel dumpster- as they think that their so called "job" will get them noticed, by standing up to higher class and telling them what they think will make them seem "bad ass". I got news for you guys- that's some sad shit your going through. Whatever happened to giving the entertainers the use of the phrase "any publicity is good publicity", frankly, I think its people like the open journalists who are looking for the big break with a big break up of some well known Charlatan who give the media the bad names people like me dub them with.

In case you're wondering, which I am sure you are, I am still fixated with Seth Rogen and his whole act. Okay, okay, so shoot me, i think the guys excellent in every way. Is there anything wrong with that?

Having his babies can't be all that bad...

2008-04-15T22:15:00.003+01:00

Two words. One man. Seth Rogen.

He's got style, hes got class, hes got a girlfriend that will kick my ass. [Yes I am reciting a Bowling for Soup song] And I know what you're thinking, Seth Rogen, hardly the Keanu Reeves/Johnny Depp I'm making him out to be. But I confess I do find him hilarious, and like any other woman would tell you, funny can be the best way to win a heart. And I'm sure he has won many of those. The age thing doesn't bother me much either. Whats a couple of years here and there? It could give us more to talk about!

You are now probably thinking "Shut the hell up, you deluded bastard!" but please let a girl dream a dream not many of the other girls dream. At least until reality is ready to lay its wet blanket over me...again.

shall i use my powers of invisability for good or for evil...?

2008-04-15T21:22:00.002+01:00

Not every enjoys being left out or even pushed away from social events/gatherings. Being pushed away from reality, however, is a different league of its own...

Why do some people never stop to consider the fact that their actions are not only idiotic but also selfish? Yes, a question that has been causing psychologist much grief for many years, but also a question that is in the very lives of the general public. The questions that make everyday people sit and think for about 10 seconds everyday about everyday things. Days like this seem to make me counter act these questions with more questions. And maybe even some more questions...?

Questions. Its a funny word. When you say it over and over again it just sounds strange, but then again so does every other word you say over and over. Much like the lives we see today- the same things repeated over and over, with the only difference being that in some cases these things happen to different people each time. Only in some cases. In other rare cases, people manage to escape. I'm not talking about the stupid kind of "escape" people are calling "self harm" these days and I'm not talking about death either. I'm talking about good old fashioned escape. Where you go away, travel, spend time with people worth spending time with, instead of trying to escape sitting in the tub with a razor in your hand which you extracted, rather clumsily, from an old discarded shaver. Because lets face it, you are more then likely not to be a surgeon who will fix the rips and damages in your life with a few incisions.

Some people believe that when someone doesn't understand what the person is trying to tell them, yelling at them 700 decibels louder will somehow help. Well of course it would help, if they were deaf! Think about it, when was the last time a yokel understood rocket science by bellowing their lungs out at them?!

This may sound like a rant, but the last time I let out some steam face to face with someone i ended up butt naked in the middle of Mexico with nothing but a credit card to my name and ran across town gaining belongings as i went along, returning home just in time for getting to the church to marry my beautiful bride. All without breaking a sweat may I add.

Star-struck

2008-04-08T17:22:00.002+01:00

Phone rings on the table cluttered with bits and bobs as she runs towards it to pick it up.
Bhavna: Hello...?
Karina: Hey Bhavna...
Bhavna: Hi, who is this?
Karina: Its Karina, did you not recognise the number?
Bhavna: Shit no, whats up?
Karina: You'll never guess what, I had the best day ever yesterday! I was walking down Watford...
Bhavna: ...As you do
Karina (faint uneasy laugh): Yeah. And I was scouted by someone and he asked if i wanted to be a model and he took head shots and stuff!...
Bhavna (doubtful tone):He didn't get you to take your clothes off did he?
Karina: ...No
Bhavna: He didn't try and do anything to you with his dick, did he?
Karina: Bhavna...no!
Bhavna: and your sure?
Karina: yes!
Bhavna: Wow...well that's amazing! and a first- you'd think someone from Watford would get his cock out at any chance he'd get.
Karina: Is this you being happy for me?
Bhavna: why? whats happened? Why should i be happy? The fact that he didn't get his cock out, right?
Karina: Will you forget his cock for two seconds please! I'm going to be a model!
Bhavna: No you are not!
Karina(stressed, given up tone): You weren't listening, were you?
Bhavna: I most certainly was! You said you got some head shots, he may have got head shots for every other girl he saw coming out of Anne summers! and for whom? for you? No! For his own pleasure! He's probably whacking off right now, as we speak! Did u even see a business card? Did he even give you a contact card?
Karina: Yes, he did. I have it right here.
Bhavna: My point is still valid! You shouldn't be so certain of the truth unless its hit you right in the face. Between the eyes!
Karina: All right, I'm almost certainly going to be considered for a modeling career! happy?
Bhavna: Greatly. Is that it?
Karina: What do you mean "is that it"?
Bhavna: Well is there anything else you'd like to share? Surely that wasn't all that happened to you to make you say it was the "best day ever", your way too hard to please.
Karina: Nope.
Bhavna: what do you mean nope?
Karina: Nope. That isn't all that happened to me.
Bhavna: Well pray tell, what else happened to the infamous Karina? You been scouted for a movie too? Maybe someone overheard you singing in HMV and are now ready to give you a little record deal? well?
Karina: Bhavna, Jimmy Carr called- he wants his attitude back.
Bhavna: Oh all of a sudden your the comedian? Anyways, go on...
Karina: Ready?
Bhavna: steady...go!
Karina: some guy my sister knows bumped into us-
Bhavna: Oh my God he didn't get his cock out did he?!
Karina: Shut up! Let me finish! Don't say a word!
Bhavna: Sorry.
Karina: my sister knows him because he invites her to all these parties that celebrities throw because shes like an it girl. She asked if i could come and he was like "sure how old is she?" and she said "shes twenty years old". And guess whose party it is! Guess guess!

SILENCE

Karina: Bhavna...? You still there?
Bhavna: ...yes...
Karina: Are you not going to guess which celebrities party I'm going to?
Bhavna: Oh, so i can speak now?
Karina: Oh for fucks sake! Paris Hilton! I'm going to Paris Hilton's party! How amazing is that!
Bhavna: Shit! that is pretty amazing! Think of the people who are going to be there! Paris, Nichole, Good Charlotte, Lindsey Lohan! oh my God your going to be famous and I'm going to be your friend! You have to get me autographs! from everyone you think I'll like! Oh my God what if Seth Rogan will be there!?!
Karina: Seth who?
Bhavna: You know, Seth Rogan! The writer slash actor! My hero Seth Rogan...?
Karina: Whose that?
Bhavna: The guy from "Knocked Up", the one with curly hair!
Karina: I don't know who that is.
Bhavna: Fair enough- if you don't know him he might not be invited!

BOTH LAUGH

Karina: But think about how wild her parties are, Bhavna! The People and the dresses and the drinks! People get pissed and take their clothes off and get naked!
Bhavna (monotonous tone): Don't take your clothes off, Karina.
Karina: No, I won't.
Bhavna: Thanks.